Name That Show
[Based on my wording can you figure out what show I have
been watching entirely too much of?]
Here we stand in the kitchen of Holly Angela Holtzmann. Legend
has it that this property was erected sometime in the nineteen sixties or seventies
however without actual documentation we are unable to confirm that. Tonight I,
Holly will attempt to do what so many before me have successfully accomplished
RIGHT HERE in this very kitchen… I am going to wash my filthy dishes. [Moment of
silence] What you don’t know is that although I will be accomplishing the same
outcome as my predecessors that for so many years were forced to use a basin of
water and a towel often requiring another person all together to follow behind
them and dry, I will be utilizing perhaps one of the most amazing inventions
known to man… AND women of course as they are the primary users of this mysterious machine… The
dishwasher. [Moment of silence] So I
have personally set the dishes up and we are now about to activate the “LOCK DOWN LEVER”. In
less than one hour from now we will meet the fate of these nasty, filthy dishes…
[47 minutes later]
OK, here we are BACK at the dishwasher. We are now going to
find out what this amazing display of energy is capable of producing. [Moment of
silence] Dude I’m so freaked out… Aren't you? WAIT SHHT never mind don’t answer
that bro... I'm fairly certain that these people only really care about what I have to say.
I will now unlock the “LOCK DOWN LEVER”… [Moment of silence] OH MY GOD - OH MY GOD - OH
MY GOD!!! HOLY $#!* DUDE! DID YOU SEE THAT?!!! I’M NOT KIDDING GUYS! WHEN I PUT
THESE DISHES IN HERE THEY WERE $#@%/^* FILTHY! NOW THEY’RE CLEAN AS $#!%!!!
This is an absolute dream bro. Generations have given their PERFECTLY manicured
fingernails for years to produce this very same result and yet here I stand before you with absolutely PERFECT fingernails. Wow… I am at a loss for words bro. I just
want to take this moment to thank my mother and all the other females that
sacrificed so that I may have.
Ok, that’s a wrap.
